Priests can say F*@K

So, in my years of dating I’ve been courted by a Moroccan man, taken to Switzerland on a first date by a man who lived on Guam, and been taken to Thailand by a man I’d never even kissed.

But, one of my most interesting dating experiences is with a priest.  Yes, a man of the cloth. 

Before you think I really rebelled against my Catholic upbringing, this was with an Episcopalian priest.

The Episcopal church which defines itself as “Protestant, yet Catholic” and was formed shortly after the American Revolution when it was forced to separate from the Church of England.

The Episcopal church ordains women into the priesthood and in a 1976 Convention declared that homosexuals were “children of God” and ordained an openly homosexual priest in 1977.

As of 2009, the Episcopal church had over 2 billion members.

So, it’s a lighter version of Catholicism for someone like me.

I’d never experienced this religion, nor researched it until I met a very hot Episcopalian.

When I lived in Pittsburgh, newly divorced, I had some dating adventures.  One of the best of them is this:

I was mountain bike riding in Frick Park in Pittsburgh, PA and then went to my local Hot Dog shop (I used to be a meat eater before I found yoga) for a post-ride beer and chili dog.

It was there-at Dee’s Hot Dog shop in Regent Square, I met this very handsome priest.

I was simply asking for my typical hot dog/Hoegaarden when this good looking man came over and sat with me.

We ate our dogs, drank our beer, and flirted like mad.

Until………

He explained what he did for a living-“I’m a priest”.  Ack!!!  We hung out, whereupon he said the F word and I exclaimed “You CAN’T say that!!”  He said ” Who knows the rules, you or I???”

So,we hung out, drank our beers, and arranged a date.

I then went through this moral dilemma- “CAN priests have SEX??” -“Am I committing a SIN by seducing a priest?”

So, I went to my very Catholic-friend Luisa who knew religion well and assured me Episcopalian priests could marry and have sex.

The BIG question was “Can a priest HAVE sex before marriage?”

I was determined to find out…

Luckily, I was hosting a party for my crew (rowing) team, entitled “Pimps and Hos” where the men would dress like prostitutes and the girls like Pimps.  Martinis were served, music was played, hook-ups ensued. 

The problem was…I changed the date on the party and the priest didn’t get the message.

I know this because I got the following email:

“Hey,
I stopped by your house on Friday (at least I think I did) all pimped out – but no party.  Wud happened?  Zach”

Obviously, this Episcopalian priest showed up at my home dressed as a pimp and banged on my door, only to realize I wasn’t there.

So, if you ever see your priest/pastor/Father/shaman/warlock dressed in a fur coat, gold chain, and walking with a jeweled cane-don’t judge.

He’s not gone to the dark side-he’s probably only been invited to one of my parties!!

One thought on “Priests can say F*@K

  1. I went to Episcopalian school, and the fact that my granddad and his generation refers to them as the “whiskeypalians” should tell you something about their faith (to the bottle) =)

    Happy birthday!!!!!!

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