Never trust a man with soft hands….

I was raised with Blue Collar guys……

My family is East Coast Irish/German stock so my uncles were firemen, carpenters, electricians and handymen.

It was almost unheard of to have your dad call in a plumber or repairman because either he could do it himself or one of his buddies could.

My childhood was filled with the background sound of circular saws, I learned how to hang drywall by age ten, and a “Stud finder” to me was not just looking for a hot boy.

As a result, my family has remained Middle Class and I still call my dad every time something breaks to make sure my landlord isn’t just rigging it.

There was one tragic time when my poor ex-husband was hanging drywall and not hammering into the joist but into air when my dad loudly groaned as if someone kicked him in the cajones.

Now I live in San Francisco-the love of my life, the city of my dreams.

BUT, the men are such pussies!!! (Pardon my French)

I have a great friend, a Midwestern man, who comes to my place and immediately notices things he can fix in my apartment.

Suddenly, he’s brandishing my (flowered) screwdriver, screwing in loose toilet seats, door hinges, etc without having even been asked!  And, its such a TURN ON to watch a man in action-doing what God intends he does, fixin’ shit.

Burning Man is an instance where men can be men.

Amazing feats of engineering are built, camps are raised, structures completed, projects evolved.

Nothing to me is sexier than watching a man on the Playa, covered in sweat and Playa dust, brandishing a hammer.

My amazing, sexy male camp mates come into their own while building camp.  They construct and build a camp of over 120 people that includes a massive lounge, 36 LED lit palm trees made of old patio umbrella structures covered in burlap and sailcloth, and the infrastructure to house 140 Burners.

It’s sexy to watch them construct our amazing camp-doing the heavy lifting, carrying power tools. And, some of these guys have office jobs, desk jobs, computer jobs.

In this environment they are in their natural element.  It’s almost as if they have been waiting for the chance to unleash their inner male.

And, for us ladies, it’s a great reminder that men do some things better and watching a man do something physical is sexy and natural.

Which probably explains the organic, immense, sexual attraction we all (hetero or straight) feel towards our male population during Burning Man.

So different than the normal state of affairs when men sit at a desk, writing code-making phone calls or financing deals.

And, I argue, it’s back to the natural state of what men inherently love to do-break things, build things, create things, engineer things.

I was reminded of this recently when dating a man who had a high level tech job-VP level guy with a nice paycheck.

We were in bed and I commented “Wow! Your hands are so soft!!!”

He took this as a compliment, saying “Yes, I have very soft hands”


And, all I could think was the echo of my father as I said “Geez, the toughest things these hands have done is dial the plumber”

And I started looking for a new lover with calloused, worked, manly hands immediately….



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