Today marks a somber occasion which caused a shift in the attitude of most Americans-a loss of our sense of security-it also marks a personal shift for myself.
Ironic, I thought, that today marks a worldwide shift in our ideas of what we need to feel secure. Now, everyone is assumed to be guilty-be it at the airport, on Bart or traveling to a foreign country.
Today would have also been my wedding anniversary, had I stayed married.
And, it’s interesting to see where my attitudes regarding continuity have grown.
Prior to my wedding, my life path was determined by others. It was expected that I would find a man in my 20’s, settle down, get married and live happily ever after.
One of the benefits of this, it was thought, was that I would be secure.
And, I was in all of the expected ways. I had a house, 2 dogs, a husband, 2 car garage and all of the trappings of the ‘burbs. Nothing could touch or rattle me.
But, I found myself an insomniac. I paced through our 3 story home feeling as if something in me was trying to get out and take some risks-travel-kiss inappropriate people-drop the bullshit 5 year plan.
So, I followed my heart-got divorced-lost everything financially-and my spirit began to grow.
And, here I am, in San Francisco, minus all of the trappings of marriage and suburban life. I’m without the protection of a husband, a fat bank account, a financial planner to set up my retirement-in fact, I don’t even have a car.
But, somehow-somehow, I feel more true to myself, more relaxed, more SECURE than I was in my former life.
So, today is a sad anniversary for many reasons. But, I’m reminded by my amazing guru, “Here, you are safe”.