Si non oscillas Noli tintinnare

“If you don’t swing-Don’t bring.”

These are the words on the plaque outside the Playboy mansion.

How do I know this?

I found myself watching “The Playboy Club” on Hulu last night and although it sounds cheesy, it reminded me of my days as a Cocktail waitress at the Fillmore.

A few years ago, a good friend helped me get a job there carrying a tray of drinks among the 1500 guests in the audience at this historic concert hall.

It was an exciting job-working under the chandeliers-shimmying through a crowd of people (mostly men) and meeting rock stars.

And, while we didn’t wear bunny outfits and tails-my friends and I did dress funky, sexy, and cute.  We wore German girl beer outfits, schoolgirl skirts and pink and purple wigs depending on the show.  And, no matter how rockin’ and crazy the crowd, we could deliver a full tray of drinks right to the front of the stage and still be friendly and fun.

Maybe it wasn’t the most feminist gig, but it sure felt nice to take off my business suit from my day job and hang out with my fun co-workers.  And, the guys we worked with from security guys like ‘Dirty’ to bad-ass bartenders and bar-backs took good care of us.  After ‘Shift off’ I’d come home with a Cash Caddy full of tips, phone numbers and buds.

I’d wake up with too little sleep the next day and, in my professional day job, have to deal with arrogant bureaucrats and guys who spent their living doing nothing more physical than sitting on their ass at a desk.

No wonder I’d look forward to putting on something fun and dancing while I worked my way through the crowd- sometimes getting lucky enough to stand by the edge of the stage and watch some of the greatest musicians play on one of the most historic stages in the world.

So, while I can’t tell my grandkids someday that I was a Playboy Bunny, I still think it’s pretty cool that I got to wear a hot pink wig and carry a tray under those famous chandeliers!

The Fillmore brought it and I swung…

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