Be Your Own Soulmate

Every year on the Playa-I’m searching for my Soulmate.  I truly believe an environment of self-expression, communal effort, participation and creativity allows for connections that take years in the default world.

On the Playa, you find out what someone’s made of rather quickly, and you see them for who they are in situations where they are dehydrated, exhausted and raw.

Plus-everyone’s so HOT out there!

This year, our camp was filled with romance.  Two weddings, a recent engagement and lots of love in the air-it seemed like the perfect year to find my Soulmate.

So, each day, I ventured out and met lots of amazing, sweet and chivalrous men yet didn’t find that ONE.  I’d gather my rag-tag group of campmates, dress us all up from my costume bins, and head out anticipating to find my Soulmate.  And, no matter who I met or made out with, no one seemed right.

I’d arrive back at camp and my friends would say “Well????” knowing my mission.  And, despite the amazing day I’d had, I would feel defeated.

Then, one of my sassy friends from the UK said to me “It sounds like an awful lot of pressure to put on yourself AND on everyone you meet to expect to find your Soulmate on the Playa.  Why not just give yourself a break??”

So, I drove out to the Temple,  had a good cry and released some of the pressure of the week: misunderstandings I had with fellow campmates, frustration with my janky tent, overall disillusionment.

I wrote my annual dedication to my Grandmother, left a gift and note for a friend, and just when I was about to leave something amazing happened.  A woman came up to me, out of all of the people crying, and gave me a huge hug and let me cry it out.  Then, she simply walked away.  It was so random, so unexpected and it made me realize that if a stranger could find something in me worth embracing, surely my Soulmate would.  Maybe he just needs the space to be made to enter.

So, in the meantime, I’ve decided to become my own Soulmate and focus my energy on myself for a change.  And to release the expectation and grasping and wanting and let myself enjoy what’s being presented.

That day, a sweet man came by and took me out on a day of indulgence where I was fed,  massaged, given Love Potion, and attended to from head to toe.  I came back relaxed and radiant.

When I came home to the default world, I started on a routine of self-care.  I’m focusing on my yoga, my health, and in setting boundaries that allow me to put my energy where it’s most appreciated.  I’m letting go of things, people, and habits that drain me and making space for the good stuff.

I’m putting a drop of Love Potion on my neck everyday, surrounding myself with sweet people, taking my vitamins and eating well.

Basically, I’m courting myself like I’m the hottest catch in town.

Soulmate-if  you need to find me, I’ll be the one surrounded by good campmates and friends and filled with indulgence.  And, if I’m having a really good time, I might ask you to hold for me a bit.  It’s your turn to wait.

3 thoughts on “Be Your Own Soulmate

  1. Yes! I couldn’t agree with you more, girl. You know how my search for love on the playa ended this year.

    Burning Man is a great party. But parties aren’t really the place to meet a soulmate. It’s easy to forget that the connections a few of our friends have found there are the exception, not the rule. Increasingly, most people are there for the party first.

    One of our friends also told me that it was when she truly became comfortable being herself, by herself, that her soulmate found her. And I think there’s something to that.

    So I am with you. Less partying, more real connections, more self love. Each burn has its lessons.

  2. I love the attitude and the insight. I thought occurred to me after reading: Ashley and I met 3 years before we started dating but we were in such different places that we never really connected…at all. We were friendly enough but we probably only talked 1 on 1 a handful of times. We needed the lessons of pain, patience, love and lust that those years provided.

    Those lessons feed us the way the sun feeds plants. We grew. That growth turned us into each other’s match (but not yet soul mates) and made us good for one another. Because of that when we finally started dating we were ready to share that growth and pain with each other. Once that happened then I found my soulmate.

  3. Always love your blog posts. As for being your own soulmate, aren’t you lucky you found YOU. Things could be a lot worse. 😉 And I am sure your OTHER soulmate is just around the corner.

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