Two freaky things happened to me around the Full Moon this week-first I had a nightmare (something I never have) in which my plane crashed and, once we made a water landing-sharks began to swarm around me.
When I woke, I discovered that during the night, my mala beads had broken. At first, I desperately tried to salvage what was left of the 108 beads in the hopes I could re-string them. Once I accepted defeat, I swept them up and spent the rest of my morning feeling jumpy and frustrated. I became CONVINCED this was a bad omen leading up to my return trip to Tulum, Mexico.
Now, you would think the rational side of me would realize- “Hey, these beads were purchased for 10 rupees in India more than 3 YEARS ago. How long do you expect a 20cent string of beads to last??”
Or, maybe my yogi side would kick in the remind me that the 5th Yama is Aparigraha-the acceptance that only chance and impermanence are constant.
But, old habits die hard. You see-I’m a clinger. I hold onto things, ideas, even people -long after they have served their purpose. I still have the dress I wore to my bridal shower more than 10 years ago-I still believe in Soulmates-I pray to St Anthony when I lose things, convinced he’s gonna help me just like my Grandma said.
Luckily, I have amazing teachers like Janet Stone who wrote this little ditty about flexibility. Then, I remember my theology teacher from yoga training- Dr Jay Kumar who told me (the last time I had a pair of 10 rupee Malas break) the symbolism is this:
The malas (or anything else in life) have served their purpose. You have learned the lessons you need. They have served their purpose. It’s time to move onto the next thing with full appreciation of what whey have taught you. To do anything else is to distrust your faith in the Universe to provide you with what you need.
In order to make space for what’s next-you gotta get rid of what’s done.
So-I head to Tulum without my malas but with space for what’s next.